Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Why?

If I was able to ask these questions I would:

First off, Why Me? Seriously...just why?

I don't like to have drama in my life. I like my life simple, less complicated, uneventful. I am a peaceful person. I don't like change. I don't like rocking the boat. I am perfectly getting up in the morning at the same time, eating breakfast (always a chocolate fudge poptart) at the same time, I check my e-mail at the same time. I get home at the same time. I like consistancy. Regularity.

I talk to the same people every day. I am not a shaker upper. I am just not. I am a calming presence most people say---people seem to instinctively trust me. I listen. I don't act.

I have the same 5 favorite shirts-that if I could I wear them all the time. I wear the same shoes every day-I have a brown pair and a black pair. (However, I do have a baby pink pair of sneakers)

I am boring I guess. I like vanilla ice cream. Maybe on rare occassions I'll get mint chocolate chip. I just don't deviate. I could eat the same thing for lunch for a year (and have!)

I don't handle change well. Well, certain change well. Moving I do fine with. College I do fine with. Things like that-I can handle, because I know wherever I go, I'll still be in contact with my best friends. And family. And I know that my lifestyle and routine won't change.

But other change I don't handle well. I certainly don't handle drama well. I would rather not know the answers to things, even though I know I am right--then actually get proven that I am right. I find security in the unknown. *shrugs*

And usually-I am an expert at avoiding things like that. I really am-I managed to dodge it for years--and I am great at that. But sometimes, drama and stuff like this, just manages to find me anyway-when I least expect it, when I am not ready for it.

And that just royally sucks.

Yes, to me, not knowing is the best way to handle things. If I don't know things-I wouldn't worry about my friends and family. I would live my life peacefully. My routine wouldn't be changed. So yeah, no more drama for me please. No more answers, no more questions...just well...nothing!

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