I blame Karen Filippelli for all that is wrong.
I blame her for...
Worrying about people I haven't seen, much less talked to you in years.
That when it is finally cold out--it still doesn't snow. I want to see some snow.
Crying during the movie tonight.
And other things as well!
I just hate worrying. And I hate how it sneaks up on you....and with me, it just encompasses everything. And when I hear that someone is upset or sad or frustrated, I just start to worry. I sincerely wish sometimes I can turn the worrying/caring part off--and just well...relax. I know. I know. People will say it makes me...well me. But sometimes, it would be so nice to be not exactly me. A new me. A 6.0 version of me. One that worried less. I like the caring aspect--but maybe, I am just too sensitive.
I don't know. And the worst is, I never like to admit to the person that I am worried about them--because it sounds silly, especially if I don't talk to them often. And then I start to worry. And then my stomach begins to churn. Inevitably, I can't sleep. But the worst thing about worrying about people in your past, is that I start to regret things that happened in the past as well.
I wish that I was less judging...or nicer. Or more open. But mostly, I wished I was more vocal. I never was. I hate confrontations. I still do. They tend to me cry. But I do wish that I didn't regret things. And that I worry less.