I apologize

First off, I apologize to all the people that this affects.

I hate the phone. Hate it. Loathe it.

*wrinkles nose* that doesn't sound exactly accurate. Because I do talk on the phone, and don't even mind conversations on the phone.

How about the good ole: "It's not you, it's me." I think that fits.

I hate calling people on the phone. It is not that I don't want to talk to you-I do. I just don't want to call.

And, it has always been like that. For as long as I could remember. In elementary school-I hated calling up friends to play. Usually, I tried to convince my mom and dad to do it! (I think that worked until I was about 10) I wanted to see them--but I felt in my kid mind that I was forcing them to hang out. *rolls eyes* I don't know.

But, even now, there are four people I call--that I don't get a nervousness panicky feeling when I call. My parents. Rich. And my cousin Beth. (Mostly because Beth never picks UP the phone--so when I call--I know that I am inevitably going to be talking to a machine.) Everyone else forget it.

I'll e-mail, write letters 'til the cows come home, I'll even text someone before I make the last and final attempt to call. And it is not that I don't think of calling-I do. I think about it. Debate it. Something inevitably distracts me---and then when I realized I never called, I breathe a sigh of relief because it is way too late to call.

So, if you don't hear from me...just remember.

It really isn't you. It is me.