So, last night before I went to bed, I was thinking...well more being contemplative I guess.

I was thinking about a story my cousin told me a few days ago. She was in elem school, in third grade, and there was a boy in her class at that time. That hated any crayons that were broken (and...I so can relate! My parents house had a crayon draw of just crayons because I had to get a new box as soon as one of them got dull or broke. Anyway, I digress) So, this little boy hated broken crayons. One day my cousin looked over at him and he systematically was breaking every single one. When she asked him about it, his reply was "this way they are already broken, I don't have to worry about breaking them"

That conversation stayed in her mind for just about 20 years or so. I never met that boy, because she was in elementary school before I was born. So, I don't know his name. I don't know anything about him really. But yet, the story of the broken crayons relates to all aspects of life. Trust me. I was a broken crayon a few times. And I also have been the one to break crayons as well.

Sometimes people are just so scared of getting hurt, they need to hurt others before they feel better. They just couldn't handle it. I understand that. Many people do the same. I have probably done the same if I search my memories far back enough. It is just amazing how the fear of getting hurt is so powerful that people will do anything to avoid it. *thinks contemplatively* Hurt themselves by having a missed opportunity. Hurt others, because they just don't know, and are innocent to everything going on. And then sometimes even cause regret. And some people have a vicious cycle--they do it for years, and then find it hard to break.

I know...I know. Broken Crayons are a far stretch from the fear of getting hurt. But not really.

My Nondenominational Dolls...

Well, it took me 3 weeks to do. But I have to say, it is finally...finally done. It took a lot of planning (and by planning I mean: collecting items, sketching how the room would look, who would be wearing what, and all the other little things that you will see in the pictures that follow)
I set my girls up into groups--some are lighting a Menorah, some are baking, some are ready to go sledding, some are decorating the Christmas Tree, and others are just well...relaxing...as you will see.
Oh, I have to let you know that finding doll sized accessories...is well...not the easiest thing in the world to do.

Klara with the dreidel:

Gena, Madeline, Lydia and Caroline lighting the Menorah:

Close up of Caroline lighting the Menorah:

Some various photos of Sophie and Kayleigh decorating the Christmas Tree

Picture above is Emma and Erin about to go sledding!

Kailey and Olivia are comfy cozy ready for the upcoming winter months

Hallie watching Annie ice-skate

Kit and Ruthie are baking away:

My historical dolls getting ready to celebrate various holidays

Kaya, Felicity, Elizabeth, Josefina, Kirsten, Addy, Samantha, Nellie, Molly, Emily and Julie

Pam Beesly and Kelsey baking:

Adventures in Ice-Skating

So yesterday, was the first time I went ice-skating this season. I decided that I needed to go. At least once. And I only like to really go when it is super cold out--for some reason, it just makes me feel...alive. So, Rich was coaching in the morning, and I got dropped off at the ice-rink and picked up there.
One of the nicest things about where I live is the ice-skating rink. I know it doesn't seem like much--but it is primarily an outdoor rink, so you feel like your outdoors even though it is screened in. The bad side is, it is only open from November to about March.
I pretty much self-taught myself to ice-skate. Well not really-if you count those lessons that I had when I was 4. I think it lasted oh about a month or so. And not because I was terrible, because I did as well as any other 4 year old would do on ice. But because the lessons ended, and I never got signed up again.
So my mom would take me some weekends. And then in middle school and high school, I went a lot. I think by senior year in high school; I went 2 or 3 times a week. I always wish that I did stick with ice-skating lessons--I am not terrible since I taught myself, I am not a wall hugger--and I don't really fall. Granted, I don't really know how to stop either. But at least I don't fall. Sometimes, it amazes me that I am able to ice-skate. Those that know me now, or have known me in my childhood...know that I have a tendency to lack...well...coordination. You got me. Sometimes, I amazed that I am able to walk from point A to point B. And if you have seen me walk, it is never in a straight line. Dancing is an abnomination. My attempts at gymnastics are pitiful. (considering, I still can't turn a cartwheel) Rollerblading is laughable. Rollerskating is hilarious (there was one time I flew over the guardrails) So, amazingly...ice-skating works for me.
I never actually go with anyone. Because sometimes, it is so much easier going by myself then spending the time, energy and effort convincing someone who clearly doesn't want to go, to go with me. I learned in middle school--it just isn't worth it. So, I declare ice-skating for the most part "me time" Time that I can just be myself. That I can collect all my thoughts. That I can relax. It is as theraputic as writing is or taking a bath. It just completely relaxes me.
And now that I teach-a lot of the kids that I teach have lessons there. So it becomes a pride thing--I can't fall, because I don't want to fall in front of my students. But I rarely fall to begin with. Yah...I am that good! Not really--but it is fun for me.
I remember in high school, I had so many ice-skating related dreams when I was sleeping. I wish I could go more than I do go.
But I am thankful that I am able to go as much as I am. Plus, I am putting my ice-skates to good use!

Getting motivation...

I don't know. Seriously, I have just been so exhausted recently. And it just royally, well...sucks. I manage to have enough energy at work, but I think after using every last drop of energy at work, I come home by 4 o'clock and I am just ready to collapse. Which I am so not used to at all--usually, I am like the energizer bunny, and I have an astronomical amount of well...bounciness and energy--I used to be able to wide awake at 1am, not too long along (like...last month) Now, I am asleep by 10. But I want to go to bed by 8pm. Maybe 11--depending what is on tv that night. Because no matter, how tired I am, I will not miss an episode of Heroes or The Office. And yes, there have been times where I just was holding myself awake, but I didn't want to sleep.

I think this weekend I want to just relax, and well...sleep...and do fun stuff. I need to start getting all my dolls into their "holiday clothes" and setting up scenes and fun things. I also need to do lesson plans. Which seems to be well..constant. Hopefully, we will see how long they take me to do tomorrow--I know, I should be doing them now...but I can't, because I am writing this. And I am hoping for way more energy tomorrow.

*shakes head* I need to take pictures of my Pam doll--I LOVE the new red sweater I got for her, she looks well more Pamish...then she ever did before. Especially with the earrings. I saw a unicorn necklace for her as well on ebay--so I do want to get that.

This past week, I started buying holiday gifts already--actually there were a bunch already bought in the closet of mine. And I know that...Hanukkah is more than a *checks calendar* a month away, I figure if I get one or two things each week, I should be set. I always save Rich for the end, because he is a lot harder to hide the gifts from then lets say...uh...people that don't live here...

I also made my holiday cookie making schedule as well. I think thinking of the holidays, just distracts me from things I should be doing--like...everything else! :o)

My Pam doll!

So, slowly but surely, I have been piece-mealing my doll together.

My project started last May. I decided my one doll, who just really sat on the shelf, gathering dust, had very close similarities to her. Only though...some things were off.

Here was the original doll:

And the real Pam Beesly:

Now obviously there were some easy differences--and things that were easily fixable. First off, the easiest was to find some "professional work clothes" and get rid of that stinkin' ranch outfit.

Well...that took awhile, and took time, in hiring doll sized seamstresses (I mean, people seamstresses that sew doll clothes, not that dolls or midgets are the seamstresses--well, you get the point)

In that time, and due to the help of many friends, my imagination and some money I managed to find (or acquire):

a gray skirt, a black skirt, brown pants, lavendar cardigan, bright white keds (from the Dundies episode), a white button down shirt, a pink peacoat, and blue button down shirt.

I have also managed to semi-replicate various outfits from different episodes:

I have the Casino Night Dress--the lavendar one, with lavendar shoes as well.

I have a similar outfit to the Beach Game Episode: jean capris, bathing suit, pink tank top, and a black zip up hoodie (it should be blue, but that is semantics)

I also have a cat costume from the Halloween Episode, with ears and everything.

I got a red turtleneck sweater and was able to create an outfit from the Beni-Hana Christmas episode.

On the way to me I have some more button down striped shirts coming, and a jumper and shirt similar to the one that she wore at her art show during the Business School episode.

That was the easy part--just finding different outfits that I can recreate. The other things were a lot harder:

First of my original Nicki doll--had blue eyes. Pam has green/hazel eyes. Well, I do have one doll that matches the hazel eyes, so I sent them in for eye-swaps. Yep, I sent the dolls head in via the USPS to get their eyes changed at a doll hospital.

Done and done.

Then my Nicki had freckles and Pam does not. So, I spent an evening with my doll, q-tips, and non-acetone nail polish remover, and "de-freckled" her---yes, that is a professional term. I removed her freckles, and unfortunately removed some of the blush--so I do have to touch that up.

Another thing I noticed is that Nicki doesn't have earings, but Pam does. So, I did the only obvious thing to do--I got Pam's ears pierced--with little silver hoops.

Now, I am in the process of getting her a silver unicorn necklace--and I believe I found one. I have seen three different necklaces that she typically wears on the show--a unicorn, a dove and a butterfly. The unicorn is the easiest to duplicate.

I also plan on getting her a teapot--mostly because in Season 2, during The Christmas Party, Jim gives her a teapot. So, I have a doll sized teapot in mind, which I will be painting a seafoam green.

I have to say, my Pam doll is more a season 2 & season 3 Pam then Season 4 or 5 Pam--mostly because the outfits from then are just easier to recreate.

These are some updated pictures, minus the earrings. :o)

Nightmares

Okay, I don't usually get nightmares much anymore--I really, really don't. However, last night I had one--and it was terrible. I woke up shaking and sweating and couldn't fall back to sleep for about an hour or so.

The nightmare is kinda hazy. I remember it taking place in Chicago, why Chicago...I don't know, since I never have been there. I was staying at a hotel with two friends, who I couldn't identify. Anyway, we were a witness to a crime, and pretty much being hunting down through the whole dream. The killer was trying to track us down, and I kept on trying to call 911, however, I didn't know Chicago's area code--so they wouldn't put me there OR I would dial the wrong number and someone at the school would answer.

This happened about 5 times in the dream.

I finally managed to wake myself up when I got out of the hotel we were staying at--I had a feeling the man was able to find out where we were, and I was hurrying to my friends to get out, get out, get out. And I ran out, and they got lost from me.

Needless to say, I was shaking at 1:30 am. I was sweating. I grabbed my chilldhood stuffed Miss Piggy and hugged her, Rich and the cats, to calm me down. I thought happy thoughts. I turned on Nick at Nite, instead of the history channel. And eventually, eventually...

I drifted back to sleep. A dreamless sleep this time.